Say Goodbye

I have been thinking, thinking, thinking... It has been nearly two years since my life was suddenly nothing I recognized. Two years since I grew up and became Bethany. It has been an awesome journey of great heartache, empowerment, faith, courage, healing, independence and new beginnings. I have gone from a point in my life where I could just barely get out of bed every morning and breath in and out to a point where I can truly see my dreams, the dreams I thought would never come true, now materializing in a way that I could have never fathomed.

Two years ago my life was ash - ugly, dark, dirty, lifeless. Today I feel my life is so beautiful and filled with great people, memories, words and actions. Now, I wake every morning with pure amazement and thanksgiving in my heart for what God has brought me through and has blessed me with now. I knew that if I just believed and held onto His promise that He would bring something great out of the darkness, He would do it. God is truly amazing and there is no way I can ever take credit for where I am today. He held me close in my darkest times and never let me go.

I have decided to close this blog. I had a blog (All I Have, All I Am) going while I was going through such torment after Ben left. Then I started this blog after the divorce was final to help heal and encourage others that even though life may seem to be left empty, there can be new beginnings, growth and dreams made. Life can be rebuilt and something beautiful brought forth. My healing doesn't end here though. I think it will take the rest of my life to heal from what Ben did to me, my family and friends. But I am in a most beautiful place in my life where I am taking another step forward by getting married to a man who is so amazingly great. He speaks to my soul and he just fits. There isn't a forceful aspect to our relationship. It's natural, normal, easy. I can be myself with him and not worry about things I worried about with Ben.

I am so happy and genuinely grateful for all I have been through and all I have. And now, I say goodbye to this blog that helped sort out so many confused thoughts and feelings and help me step forward and move beyond...

Isaiah 61:3 "and provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor."

PS I have a new blog... "Icing on the Cake." I won't leave you hanging! :)