D-Day

Well, it's here. "D-day" I have been so lovingly calling it. My divorce is now before a judge and there is no turning back. So, how do I feel about it? I am actually having a good day which is quite the surprise. I am divorced. I no longer have a husband - just an ex-husband who I would really like to forget about. I would like to forget all of the pain and heartache I have endured over the past 6 months and be happy again. It's amazing how someone you would actually trust your life with could injure you so badly, almost to the point of no return. I am very frightened by the thought of letting another into that inner sanctum of me. I am frightened to let someone affect me as my ex did. I trusted him, possibly more than anyone else on this earth. And what did he do with it? Shattered it and left me to pick up the pieces of his mess. How noble of him. How courageous of him. Gee, what a man... and I say this completely saturated with sarcasm. He wasn't a man. He ran away like an injured dog with it's tail between his legs. He couldn't face me or my family. So what does he do? He ignored us! Ran away like the coward he is.

Anyway... enough about him. What about me? Hmmm... what do I want to do? Where do I want to go? Who do I want to be? What do I want? Paris... children... a house... Charleston... to be an author... to be athletic... Not in this particular order, but I have done tons and tons of soul searching over the past months and the bottom line is I am a simple gal with simple dreams, but dreams none the less. I love my family and I have wonderful friends, but what else? I am not really sure. I'll just take "d-day" as an accomplishment because I am not at home curled up in a ball. I am facing the world with an oddly new found confidence. I think "I'm divorced. So what!" I can hold my head high knowing that I did the best I knew how to and now I am moving forward with more knowledge about relationships and people than ever before. Life is a growing, breathing beast and if I am able to survive then I have conqured the it and will help others conquer it as well!